So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
