We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize