put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
