i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
