physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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