it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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