i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
