They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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