Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
