you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
