is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
