where am i from again
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
