I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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