I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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