the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
