He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
