my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
