we have pet lesbian snakes
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
