what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize