We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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