Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you would pick up someone in the library
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
