I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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