is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
