Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
