i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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