This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's blow job season.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There are leaves in my underwear?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
