Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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