what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
