Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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