The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
