what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
