I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
