Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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