i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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