she was so not down for the gang bang
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
