I wanna bring you to show and tell
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
