were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
