am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
