I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
