I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
