So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
