thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
