it was like eating out sand paper
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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