So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
