I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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