i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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