It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
