I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
