how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
