I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
