I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
