Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The uberlube is also flammable
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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