Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
