your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
