I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i've created a new STD.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
