You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
