all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize