I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
