we have officially lost it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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